Charisma, Maybe
by Silverone
Summary: ShuichiSuguru. Suguru and the frustrating person that is Shuichi Shindou. What's so great about him? Why is he such a child? Or is it Suguru who's the child? COMPLETE
1. Charisma

Rating: PG-13. Language, minor violence.  
  
Pairing: Shuichi/Suguru  
  
Note: I just wanted to try out this pairing…make sure to tell me what you think.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation or it's characters.

* * *

I've heard it said that Shuichi Shindou has this charisma. This force that pulls people towards him. I say that's bullshit. And I, Suguru Fujisaki should know.  
  
The real Shuichi Shindou is obnoxious, conceited and stupid. Granted, he does have a certain talent for vocals and drawing people to him. But, that doesn't change the fact that he's an idiot.  
  
And it's because of how stupid he is that I'm stuck in Tohma's office, being forced to think about what I did. What I did? It was his fault, the annoying little prick!!  
  
Okay, okay I know what you're thinking. Did I miss something? Well, the start of this fiasco… Let's not go into details, after all it's not important.  
  
It all started because of another one of Shindou's flaws. His obsession with his boyfriend. Well, ex-boyfriend. Once again, I know what you're asking me. Ex? Don't worry, I'm getting to that.  
  
Well, as you all know, Shindou is, was with Eiri Yuki, a handsome blonde with a sharp tongue. Shindou is, was quite devoted to that relationship. Everyone was always saying how admirable that was. Personally, I think the guy was just a few steps shy of being a Stepford wife. In fact, there's no doubt that Shindou is partly to blame for the breakup.  
  
I don't know all the details, just that he came in one day, all mopey and depressed, saying that he had been dumped. Now, no one was terribly concerned. After all, they break up about once a week. And as much as Shindou was weeping, I don't think he thought it was going to be permanent either.  
  
Well, after a month, he got a little worried. But, it was only after three months that the message was finally driven into that empty, little head of his. And it was little too much for him to take.  
  
For the next three months, he just barely functioned. He was a vacant, little zombie. I seriously think Tohma considered dropping Bad Luck. But, this last month, he seemed to make a recovery. He came back, once again his obnoxious, little self. We were getting on track and everything was going well. Or so it seemed until this morning.  
  
He came in, all spazzy. Apparently he had seen Yuki, with another guy. It was obvious that he was going to go back into another little slump. K, Sakano and Hiro were all going to buy into that behavior as well. At that moment, I decided, no. No more. Over my dead body.

* * *

"Snap out of it, Shindou! We have to get this new album out!" I yelled at him, causing everyone to look at me as if I had lost my mind.  
  
"I don't care!" Shindou shouted, crying even louder. Hiro was patting him on the back, trying to reassure him.  
  
"Suguru, just give him a few minutes, okay." Hiro looked at me, kindness in his voice and just a hint of pleading. How Shindou ever got a friend like him, I'll never know.  
  
"NO! I'm sick of this. Every time something goes wrong in his life, he screws all of us over! I'm sick of him being such a selfish, little shit head!" I know, I know. I was being a little insensitive. But, trust me, there is only so much you can take before you have no sympathy left for the guy.  
  
"Shut up Fujisaki!" Shindou shot up, pissed off now. Well, that's an improvement. "You don't know what you're talking about!"  
  
"Oh yeah!" I balled my fists ready to go at it. He got this smug face on his look, which only pissed me off even more. "What is it?"  
  
"I should've expected this from a little child like you. You wouldn't know what it's like to have a girlfriend or a boyfriend, would you? You've probably never even been kissed before." At that moment I snapped, and lunged for him. We started throwing punches, neither of us not doing too much damage.  
  
It was only when K fired his gun at us, that we stopped. I had a black and blue mark on my cheek. Shindou had a bloody nose. And that leads us up to…

* * *

The present, with me stuck in Tohma's office. In comes Tohma, with Shindou, his bloody nose taken care of. Tohma looks at the both of us, in what can only be disappointment.  
  
"Quite frankly, I don't care why you two were fighting. But, I won't tolerate that sort of behavior here. I can't tell you two to get along either. But, I think it would be in your best interests to figure out a way to work together." The best interests part is said with that gentle, yet threatening tone I know my cousin for. "I'm going to leave you two alone. Try to work something out." Before we can protest, he's gone.  
  
I decide that I have to break the silence first. "Listen, Shindou-san, I'm not sorry that I said those things. I'm sorry that I hit you, but, you asked for it."  
  
"What can I expect from a little kid?" Once again with the kid stuff…  
  
"Listen you, I'm trying to have an adult conversation." I don't want to lose my temper again, but he's already pushing it.  
  
"If one of the people isn't an adult, then we can't have an adult conversation." Oooh, I'll admit he's good.  
  
"Talking about yourself?" Our eyes meet and shoot daggers at each other. I sigh, realizing that I'll have to be the one to steer this conversation back on course. "Listen, let's just agree to disagree and go home."  
  
"Now the little boy is running away." I feel the anger rising yet again.  
  
"Shut up! I'm not a child! And I'm sick of you always treating me like one!" I'm mortified by what I just said, but it's too late to take it back. And he's already knows that I said too much. Shindou walks over to me, smirking evilly.  
  
"So, Fujisaki, do you want to be treated like an adult?" He says it with a husky tone in his voice. All I can do is gulp and nod. He slides his hand across my face, causing my skin to get a little heated. Then he leans in and kisses me. When he finally breaks the kiss, I feel my face flush with shame.  
  
"What was that for?" I stare at him in disbelief and he only smirks more.  
  
"I thought you were a big boy, Fujisaki. A little kiss shouldn't mean anything to you?"  
  
I feel the heat in my face grow as I touch my lips. "But, why would you-"  
  
"That really wasn't your first kiss, was it?" He's smiling more gently this time, eyes dancing with a some sort of hidden light.  
  
"I-I…" I feel even more humiliated now. "So what if it was?" I turn from him, hoping to hide the look on my face. I can feel him resting his hands on my shoulders.  
  
"Listen, I'm sorry about before, okay?" I shake my head.  
  
"No, I'm the one who should be. I shouldn't have said those things to you." It's hard on my pride, but I also know it's right. Yet, I don't want to lose either.  
  
"So is everything forgiven?" He sounds hopeful. But, I can't lose my pride so easily.  
  
"No, it's not. But, I'll forgive you if…" I try to gather my courage. "If you'll give me another kiss." He turns me around, looking surprised. I do my best to look him in the eye and maintain my composure. Then he just gives a small laugh and brushes his lips against mine.  
  
And as we kiss, I begin to think that, maybe he does a have a little charisma. Just a little bit though.

* * *

The End  
  
Make sure to review, okay? 


	2. Apparently, Stupidity is Contagious

Chapter Title: Apparently, Stupidity is Contagious.

I've decided, along with the help of some Livejournal members, that this shall no longer be a one shot. This shall be a multi-chapter fic in which I humorously subject Suguru to a lot of torture and angst, all through the person of Shuichi Shindou.

Pairings: ShuichixSuguru and slight, slight hint of K/Sakano.

* * *

I always thought I was the smart one. The logical, rational one. Second was Hiro, third Sakano, then K, and last and least, Shuichi. That was the pecking order, at least when it came to brains. It was.

But, now… I let him kiss me. Twice. Willingly. Well, the second time was willing. Before it could go any further, Hiro knocked on the door, making sure we hadn't killed each other. Shuichi greeted Hiro, acting as if nothing had happened. Somehow, Hiro failed to notice my blush and the day ended without any other disasters.

But, once I got home to my tiny apartment, I felt like I was going to start hyperventilating. "I kissed Shindou-san. What the hell is wrong with this picture?" I yelled this at no one in particular, as I have no roommate. I spent the rest of that night pacing around in a stupor, trying to figure out what the hell he meant by it.

Was it a joke? That had seemed to be his intention, but I was feeling like all my insides were going to come gushing out. Besides, he kissed me a second time.

Was it some sort of rebound? He did see his ex-boyfriend with someone else, so it is possible. But, why me? Even he's not that stupid…

Wait a minute though, this is Shindou. He would be that stupid. I slump against the wall, feeling a little relieved. "He was just feeling lonely. It meant nothing. Nothing." I try not to think about the fact that he could have done the same thing to K, Sakano, Hiro or if he wanted to be extraordinarily stupid, Tohma.

"I just happened to be the nearest available thing, that's all. That's all." I say it in a tone that sounds like I'm laughing. But, deep inside, I feel my stomach still turning.

* * *

When I go into work that morning, I'm feeling pretty up. I'm also hoping that Shindou doesn't think that second kiss meant something more. Because it didn't. I was just curious.

He's late, and so Hiro and I are left to practice on our own. I usually enjoy it when it's just the two of us. Hiro doesn't get jealous or competitive like Shindou, and he can actually give me a compliment without killing himself.

But, today I want Shindou to be here. I need to make sure he didn't get the wrong impression. Even if he's a jerk, I don't want to hurt his feelings. He's had enough of that from Yuki. Besides, it would make things more complicated around here then they already are.

"Good morning everyone!" Shouts the pink-haired menace as he slams the studio doors open. Before he can give out one of his amazingly stupid excuses, K is already shoving a gun to his mouth and Sakano is crying tears of distress, asking why Shindou hates him so much. I must say those two would make excellent interrogators or really good parents.

I watch the scene from afar, trying to remain aloof. He gives me a glance and smiles at me. Smiles at me the way he usually does. Not the way I thought he was going to. He's not supposed to be smiling at all! Shindou's supposed to be awkward, shy, nervous, acting like the grand idiot he is!

Calm down, calm down Suguru. If you just wait, he'll start acting the way he's supposed to. Yes, just wait a few minutes.

* * *

It's been a few hours and he's still acting like nothing happened. Dammit, I guess all that time with Yuki turned him into a real ice man. He has managed to ignore me completely, or rather treat me like he always does. Like I'm some little child who should be on my hands and knees thanking him for the chance to be here.

Well, it looks like I'll have to take this matter into my own hands. And considering that the other three are no where to be seen… Honestly, I work with the laziest, most irresponsible… Focus, Suguru! Focus!

"Uh, Shindou-san, about what happened yesterday…" He turns around, blue eyes vacant. Good, I have his attention. "Well, it's just that, I uhm, well I didn't want you to get the wrong idea." Why am I acting like such a moron?

"Wrong idea? About what?" Oh my god, does he try to be an idiot?

"About the kiss!" I hiss through my teeth, hoping he'll start paying attention. He blinks for a few minutes, then laughs. Wait a moment, why is he laughing?

"That? It was just a kiss. Why would I get the wrong idea about that?" I stare at the laughing idiot in complete disbelief for a few seconds before regaining my composure.

"Just a kiss! Why do that? Why?" I know I'm overreacting, but I'm so shocked that I can't handle the situation. Shindou merely puts a finger to his mouth, deep in thought.

"Well, you were being such a pain, so I thought I'd tease you. And when you asked for that other kiss, that was just your way of teasing back, right?" I want to disappear. No, I want to crawl into a dark hole and die.

"Uh, yeah…" I mutter, trying to look away. He leans in closer as if to examine me.

"Unless you thought it meant something more?" I jump back as far as I possibly can and begin to wave my hands about in a gesture of denial.

"No, No, No. I'm fine, I'm good." He's looking at me, much more closely now. Then he gives me this weird smile.

"Alrighty then." And he walks away, apparently to work on some lyrics. I stumble out of the room and run to the bathroom. I begin to splash my face with water, hoping to clear my head.

"Why did I act like that? Why did I even ask that? I never do anything that stupid!" I'm screaming, another incredibly stupid thing to do, considering that anyone could be listening. "Argh! Did he give me idiot cooties?" I think I'm going to cry too, which is the stupidest thing yet.

* * *

Poor Suguru, I was so mean to him. And it's only going to get worst. I'm going to be writing Shuichi as a bit of a jerk in some parts, because well, let's face it, he can be a real jerk.


	3. Not even in my wildest dreams

Chapter Title: Not even in my wildest dreams

Yes another chapter. I know my chapters are rather short, but that's the style that feels best right now. Also, I know I could benefit from more details, but I'm not at that point in my writing yet.

Anyways, expect more Suguru torture this chapter.

* * *

After that, I tried to ignore and swallow whatever it was I was feeling. Which worked for a few days. Everything was just peachy in fact, save for the odd looks Shindou was now giving me. I chose to ignore them, thinking that he was just flaking out. Or maybe he still couldn't believe that someone had actually and truly called him on his behavior for once.

That thought only comforted me for a little bit though. Until the dream I had last night. Until the reason I called in sick this morning and got yelled at over the phone for 30 minutes before I convinced Sakano and K that I really wasn't well. No one would be well after that!

_It started off slowly and sweetly. It was a hot summer afternoon at the park… Well, I don't know which park, it was a dream after all. Well anyways, I was sitting on a bench by myself, when suddenly Shindou walks up to me, smiling._

_"I hope I didn't keep you waiting long." He says as he sits down next to me. I merely shake my head and smile back at him._

_"No." He places an arm around my shoulder and I lean against him, feeling incredibly happy. He begins to brush his fingers through my hair and whisper sweet nothings into my ear. I start giggling after a little bit and suddenly stand up, my hands clasped behind my back. "Shu-ichi." I say his name teasingly, causing him to look at me questioningly._

_"What?" I bend down and whisper into his ear._

_"If you catch me, you get a kiss." Before he can say anything, I tap him on the nose and say, "Tag." I begin running and can hear him chasing after me. I run for what seems like hours, enjoying myself, until a thought enters my head._

_/ If you want to be caught, why are you running? /_

_I stop in confusion, but before I can ponder that thought, I'm tackled from behind and…_

…wake up.

I spent the rest of the night walking around in a stupor, trying to figure out why I had dreamed that. Something so sappy and involving Shindou. And even this morning, after having choked down breakfast, I still can't swallow it. I refuse to.

What is wrong with me? Why am I acting this way? Why should I even care? It was just a stupid kiss and that was just a stupid dream.

And Shuichi Shindou's just a stupid idiot. Always smiling that stupid smile, crying those useless tears and laughing in that annoying way that only he can laugh. He dyes his hair that weird shade of pink and when he's on stage wears those ugly, slutty clothes. He thinks he's Ryuichi Sakuma but he's not, he thinks he can be as good as Tohma, but he can't be. He's just…

He's just so stupid, yet sometimes he can be so nice, so you feel sorry for him. He tries so hard and doesn't always realize how cruel he's being. He doesn't act like it, but deep down, he takes everything so seriously. He hates to see his loved ones suffer and will do whatever it takes to make it better, though he usually ends up making it worse. He's just so frustrating that way.

_/ So why should he bug me so much? Why? Am I jealous? Do I hate him? Or am I in..?_

_And where the hell did that thought come from? /_

I feel faint at that moment, as if I'm going to be sick. It just can't be. That is an impossibility! How can I even think that I feel that way?

Then again, considering the way I have been acting over the kiss and the dream last night…

But, dreams don't mean anything, do they? Maybe I should ask someone. Like Tohma or Hiro. Or even Shindou. Which is an insane thought, but I can't ask just anyone. It has to be someone who knows about love. And those are the only three I can ask. Yeah, I'll do that tomorrow, after a good night's sleep.

But, if I go to sleep, I might dream again. Another weird dream at that. But, maybe that's not such a bad thing. Not because I want to be dreaming things like that, but because maybe I'll figure out what these thoughts and feelings mean. Yes, for educational purposes, that would be the best course to take. I don't want to dream because it might be enjoyable. At least that's what I tell myself.

* * *

To Be Continued…

No Shuichi this chapter…

Well, technically he did appear, but then he didn't. Gosh, even in dreams, Shu-chan's ruining Suguru's life.


	4. I am not a fool for love

* * *

Pairings: Shuichi/Suguru, HiroxAyaka, and a tiny, tiny hint at K/Sakano.

Rating: PG

Title: I'm not a fool for love

* * *

Today, I began my search for help. Unfortunately, my advisor was a rather misguided choice…

"Tohma, how do you know if you like someone?" I asked him this as we sat in his office that morning, knowing full well I was abusing my family privileges by wasting his time.

"Suguru?" He appeared to be taken aback and obviously shocked that I of all people would bring up something so personal. "What do you mean by 'like?' As in attracted to or as in friendship?"

"As i-in att-tracted to." Tohma gestured for me to sit down. As I did, I could feel his eyes burrowing into me.

"Suguru, what would prompt this question?" I couldn't lie to him, not when he fixated me with that look. His 'motherly, I watched over you when you were a baby and I even changed your diapers' look. Which is actually a really creepy thought.

"Well, you see I've been…"

* * *

"…and that is that." I looked at my cousin, who was grinning from ear to ear now. I hate that smile sometimes. I really, really hate it.

"My, my. You have it bad." Even his voice was smiling. Grrrrr.

"What do you mean by 'it?" He spoke of this 'it' as if it were some harmless disease that everyone got. Or rather as if 'it' were some mysterious state of being.

Tohma sighed and shook his head as if speaking to an ignorant, little boy. "Love of course. Or rather, a crush." I sputtered, mortified.

"That's impossible! There is no way in hell I love that idiot! Not Shin-" I cut myself off when I saw my cousin looking at me in mild shock. He was trying to puzzle out what I just said, which was never a good sign. People in my family are all deadly manipulaters and no matter how much they love you, always try to gather as much ammunition as possible.

He leans in a little closer, in a way that would seem almost sensual, if he weren't my cousin. "What 'idiot' is it?" I turned my head to the side, causing Tohma to tilt his head and change it's angle. "Oh, come on. You can tell your beloved cousin." He was smiling like the Cheshire cat, and I suddenly felt like Alice, lost in Wonderland.

"On second thought, it's really okay. I need to go now." If only leaving was enough to get rid of my cousin…

* * *

As I ate lunch, he is staring at me, with his hands folded. After a moment, I decided to discourage him. "I'm not telling you. You can't use that 'I'm much older than you' look either. Not this time." Stare. Stare. This staring continued for another five minutes. Then I got tired of it and threw down my fork. "What?"

A soft smile played across his lips. "And here I always thought you would be one of those life long bachelors. Your parents were getting worried."

"Why would they think that?"

Smile. "Well, you aren't the type that, how do I put this..?" He was now in 'contemplative mode' and to some people this is extremely cute, but not to me.

"What do you mean by that?" Sometimes, he really pisses me off.

"You're so serious. You act like an old man."

* * *

I wonder if it was wrong to pie my cousin in the face? Well at least he stopped following me. I should have left, only I ran into Nakano-san.

"Oi, Fujisaki-kun. Watch where you're going." I stumbled out of his way, murmuring an apology. I looked up at him for a moment, feeling a twinge of jealousy. Masculine, without a mistake, his long hair only enhanced the effect. And as for those few who did mistake him for a girl, at least they never called him ugly. He was successful with all the girls and if he had swung that way, Hiro probably could have gotten all the guys as well. Hey, speaking of someone who is successful with their love life…

"Hey, Nakano-san, would you mind if I asked you something?"

"Sure, what is it?" He asked this a little surprised, as I never ask for advice. We moved to a more private hallway that didn't have as much traffic before I continued our discussion.

"Nakano-san, when did you realize you loved Usami-san?" The corner of Hiro's mouth twitched and he turned a bright shade of red. And then it started.

"Well, well th-that-that's…" I kept forgetting that whenever he thought or talked about or to that girl, Hiro became a raging psychopath. "She and I, well it's very complicated… Well, I think, argh, why did it have to be Yuki!?" He tears his hair out, looking a little rabid.

I began to back away slowly. "On second thought, I don't need to know. I'll see you later, Nakano-san." I hurried away, hearing him stuttering still. As I was walking, I became thankful that whatever I had wasn't that bad. I wasn't stuttering,(well, not much) and I wasn't jumping into another's arms while screaming his name (yet.)

As I rounded the corner, I once more felt superior. Whatever was wrong with me, it couldn't be love. I wasn't acting as stupid as my two companions normally did. I was still the brightest in a band of miscreants.

"Hey, Fujisaki-san!" And in front of me appeared Shindou-san. "Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to go out and play with me!" I froze and felt my heart pumping rapidly, my face burning up, and my throat closing off. "Fujisaki-san? Are you feeling alright? You look sick."

He's staring at me, blue eyes quizzical, which makes him look like an owl. A cute, idiotic owl. "Uh, p-play? What s-sort of p-play?"

He still looked really concerned, but decides to answer me. "Well, there was a new club I wanted to try out. Hiro can't go, so I thought I'd invite you. That's okay, right?" Shindou-san actually seemed to be worried, as if he had offended me.

It took a bit of effort, but I managed to make my voice work normally. "No. That would be nice." What the hell am I talking about? I have work. He has work. Whenever he and Hiro run off like this, I always throw a fit and so do… "Wait! What about Sakano-san and K-san?"

"Huh, what about..?" His confusion quickly gives way to a silly grin. "Don't worry about them. They have better things to do today. They've been locked in the break room all day, if you know what I mean." He gave me a conspiratorial wink, as if I should know what he's talking about, which I didn't. No one lets me in on the gossip around here.

I sighed to myself, feeling resigned to my fate and trying to resist feeling… happy about it. "Alright then, lead the way." He noded with this smile, that suddenly seemed so special to me. As he led the way, I wondered where fate is leading me, and if I should trust it. Especially since fate had pink hair.

* * *

To Be Continued…

Was it really so wise to go out on the town with the pink-haired devil? Will Suguru survive? Will he be able to admit he has a crush?

That was fun! I regret not having it out sooner! Oh, make sure to check my profile and see all the different gravitation Rps I'm in! Several of them need a lot more people to be effective.


	5. Spliced and Diced

Chapter Title: Spliced and Diced

Pairing: Shuichi/Suguru

Summary: Just some randomness involving Shuichi and Suguru at a club.

Sorry for the lack of updates. School and the holidays kind of ate up my time.

* * *

Pulsing lights and music fill the air, and seem to be doing an excellent job keeping time with the pounding in my head. Yet, I continue to keep a smile on my face, even though I'm sweating like a pig in a roaster. Haven't these people ever heard of Air Conditioning? I'm complaining to the manager when I get a chance.

Unfortunately, Shindou interrupted my thoughts. "Fujisaki, aren't you going to have another drink?" He says this as he knocks back his third drink. One wouldn't think so, but when he wants to, Shindou can drink like a pro and knock them back one after another. As for me though, I can't even handle half a drink, let alone the whole glass I somehow finished off a few minutes ago.

"I'm good." Even as I say this, I feel myself burning up. The heat coming from the lack of air conditioning, the drink I had and a certain person's proximity to myself. I can hear Shindou saying something to the bartender and out of no where, another brain cell killing concoction is shoved in front of my face.

"Shindou-san, I don't need another-" I'm silenced by the all too friendly smack of his hand on my back.

"Come on Fujisaki, live a little! It won't hurt you to cut loose once and a while!" I'm about to tell him that I do relax on occasion, but that I don't need to resort to the stupidity of alcohol to do it. But, I made the mistake of making eye contact and saw the dare that lay there. Plus, lately it seemed to be getting harder and harder to say no to him.

"Fine, fine. Not that I see what the big deal is." I say this in as adult a tone as possible while slamming it back, just to show him I can take it like a man. And I instantly regret it as I struggle not to choke. My eyes are watering horribly, and my sinuses are strangely clear. "Shindou-san, what was that?" I manage to gasp, cursing him.

"Oh, they call that a head splicer or something. I forgot to ask what's in it, but they said it's a specialty here." He honestly looks clueless now and I'd be somewhere torn between blushing and trying to kill him if not for the fact that my head does indeed feel like it's been spliced. "Fujisaki, you okay?" I nod weakly, not wanting to look like a light weight.

"Just took me by surprise, that's all." I smile now, determined not to be treated like a child. Though, I'm not ready for when he stands up and grabs my hand.

"Hey, come on, let's dance!" I stare at him, more than a little shocked. Dance? As in together? The two of us? In public? He notices my hesitation and grins. "It's not like I'm asking you to marry me or anything."

I scoff, regaining my composure as I sit up. "Of course not. I knew that." As he leads me out onto the dance floor, amidst other club goers, I can't help but think the head splicing was messing with my sense of reality. I don't know why, maybe it's just the fact that I haven't run away by now. Maybe it's the fact that oh my god… Is he grinding against me?

Yes, I think he is. I look him in the eye and am surprised to see a rather saucy smirk, as if daring me to call him on it. Or maybe he's daring me to keep going. "What's the matter Fujisaki? Afraid to try the newest craze? Come on, it'll be fun." He grins ferally as he presses even harder against me. I gulp and I'm about to protest and say it's perverted when he pulls away from me still smiling. "I was just fooling. Stop being such a kid."

I twitch at the second insult to my intelligence, but say nothing as I stare back at him, feeling insulted. Then, I find myself moving through the crowds, trying to get out of there as fast as I can. I've almost made it to the door, when he grabs me by the wrist, having apparently run after me. "Let go of me now." I say it in a voice barely above a whisper, yet he refuses to do as I ask.

"What's with you lately? You're acting weird." I can see he's being serious now and also perhaps a little concerned, which only served to make my blood boil. How can he not know what he's doing?

I finally extract my hand from Shindou's grip and also manage to regain a bit of composure. "Don't play dumb with me Shindou-san, you know exactly what my problem is." Seeing his confused look, which isn't terribly different from his normal state by the way, I decided to leave and hurried out of the club. He didn't seem to be following me, but after a few seconds I heard him call my name.

Against my better judgment, I turned around and saw him still by the entrance of the club, waving. "Get some rest Fujisaki! I'm sure whatever it is I did it's nothing a little sleep can't cure. Bye-Bye!" I storm off, feeling aggravated by the stupid smile on his face. No, I don't love him! I don't! I hate him! That has to be it! At least I sure hope so. Either way, I know I'm going to have a splitting headache in the morning.

* * *

To Be Continued…

Suguru finally admits his feelings for Shuichi, now what? And how to keep said feelings hidden from the pink haired baka?


	6. Paranoia and it’s Lack of Timing

Chapter Title: Paranoia and it's Lack of Timing

Pairing: ShuichixSuguru, one-sided.

* * *

When I woke up that morning, I was subjected to a splitting headache along with a few annoying revelations. Denial wasn't getting me any where, so it was time to accept a few facts.

One, I was obviously in love with Shuichi Shindou. Either that, or very, very attracted to him. Secondly, this was interfering with my work and would quite possibly do so in the future. So there was only one option: bury it as deeply as humanly possible.

That couldn't be too hard, right? I mean, just look at Shuichi… Okay, maybe to put it gently, I'm screwed.

* * *

I walk into work, feeling as if I'm about to start sweating bullets. I'm praying to every god I have ever known that nobody will notice. Because, I know that if I'm confronted, I might blurt out everything. And I mean EVERYTHING.

As I begin to work on my latest composition, I begin to realize, that things are too silent, and it's not just because I'm being paranoid. Sakano's not here after all, and that is always a sign that something is up. I slowly trudge towards the schedule pinned to the wall and look at it, noticing that it says we're supposed to be having a day off today.

I resist the urge to stab something with my pen. How could I have forgotten? Wait, that's right, I've been too busy angsting over a certain cotton-candy colored moron to remember something as trivial as a day off.

Wait. Maybe I should be glad that I don't have to see him today. Suddenly, the day is seeming much brighter.

* * *

Okay, the day turned out to be a little over cast, but it's still better than being stuck in the studio all day. And this vanilla ice cream cone tastes pretty good. I've been spending the last few hours window shopping and grabbing various snacks from different vendors. Like any normal kid who is not in a famous band, only I'm wearing a hat and a pair of glasses.

I stop at the window to a music store and look at the keyboard displayed there, but before I can start planning on how to add it to my collection, I hear a terrifyingly familiar giggle. I turn around and see Shuichi walking down the street with someone else. I duck into a nearby alley and press myself up against the wall.

As they walk by, I can see that the person accompanying him is a girl, about my age, who looks a lot like him. As they walk past, I catch her name. Maiko or something?

After they're gone, I walk out of the alley, making a note of the name. Is that his sister or cousin? Damn, I sure hope so. It's strange, because I'm irrationally scared now. What if it's a girlfriend? I mean, it's said that some people look like their pets, so couldn't that work for lovers too?

I shudder, feeling more paranoid now. I hadn't thought about the fact that he might actual start dating people again. Let alone girls. Damn, I need to get home and call Hiro and ask if Shuichi has a sister or something. Stupid, bad, rotten day off!

* * *

To Be Continued…

That went a little differently than I thought. I was expecting to torture Suggy by having him be around Shuichi all day. But, this just came out instead.

Oh, and as for those who would like me to be writing longer chapters, I'm sorry! It's hard for me to do and while I'll admit that it probably hurts my other fics to not write as much, it seems to work better doing it in shorter bits when it's a first person fic.


	7. Clarity, sort of

Chapter: Clarity, of sorts

Pairings: Shuichi/Suguru

* * *

Chapter 7

Turns out that Shuichi does have a sister named Maiko and they were indeed supposed to be hanging out yesterday. I sigh in relief and hang up on Hiro just as he is asking me why I wanted to know about that. I then choose not to think about it for the rest of the day, which is easy since I'm so relieved. So stupidly relieved.

I whistle to myself, no longer upset over the realization that I have this little crush. Yes, I have it bad, so very bad. But, a crush is a crush is a crush, right? Why deny it or try to call it what it isn't? I just have to wait until it passes, which shouldn't be long.

I shiver as I wrap my arms around myself. The apartment is drafty at night, even if it is well-maintained. I retrieve a sweater from the dresser and start to put it on, when I hear knocking. I stumble towards the door, tangled up in the sweater. "I'm coming," I shout as I finally reach the door, getting even more tangled up then before.

I manage to open the door knob with one hand, only I somehow end up falling backwards on my rear end. "Greetings. I'm sorry if I seem a mess…" I looked up as I finally got the sweater over my head and nearly chocked. Shuichi Shindou, right in front of me, with a really weird look on his face.

"Are you a man or a turtle, Fujisaki-kun?" Shuichi looked down on him, left side of his face twitching ever so slightly. I scoot away from the door still staring at him, as he entered.

"H-hello Shindou-san." I'm blushing and still sitting on the floor, not focused enough to guard my expressions any better. "Why are you here?"

He's still looking down on me, now a little annoyed it seems. "I want to know why you were asking about my sister."

I stare at him gaping, trying to figure out how to explain this. It's not like I can say that I saw you with her yesterday and got incredibly jealous. The only solution seems to be to just stare at him like I'm completely clueless. Which I do, while blinking my eyes, which I'm hoping look as huge and innocent as I've been told they do.

"Listen, I know my sister is cute, in fact, I'd wager to say she's almost as cute as me." At that arrogant remark, he smiled to himself. "But!" And at this he jabbed a finger in front of my face, now serious again. "She is not interested in some little squirt like you. She already has a boyfriend, and even if she didn't, she doesn't have time for some annoying, little dork in a band. Got it?"

Now I'm blinking even more, trying to get this straight. He thinks I'm after his sister, who he claims he's cuter then. And he thinks I'm not good enough for her. I sit there, now simmering, trying to decide which fact aggravates me more. I finally decide it's the fact that he's still hasn't realized that I'm crushing on him.

He's now looking down at me, obviously miffed that I haven't responded to his little tirade. "Fujisaki-kun? Have you been listening to me? Why are you being such a freak lately?" Me? A freak? That's what he thinks? Guess it's time to cure him of his delusions. Well, a few of them at least.

"Oh, have I really been acting that weird, Shindou-san?" I grinned coyly as I stood up. He nods, wordless. I decide to press the advantage and drap my arms around his shoulders. "Do I have to spell out the reason for you?" He looks at where my arms are and how close my face is and nods some more.

Stupid, stupid Shuichi. I kiss him, chastely, because I'm afraid that if I do anything more adventurous, my inexperience will show. I pull away and look him in the eye. He stares back at me, now a little flushed. "So, you're not after my sister?"

* * *

To be continued…

Yes, a cliffy! Bwahahahaha!


	8. I love you, you idiot

Chapter Title: I love you, you idiot

* * *

I can feel the blood pulsing in my face, my breath hitching in my throat. It doesn't help that the person in front of me is being so mind numbingly stupid. "Shindou-san, I like you. A lot." A lot doesn't even begin to describe how I have been feeling, but it's all I can bring myself to say at the moment. 

"Uh, you do?" He's scratching the back of his head, obviously confused by the situation. I merely nod, deciding that saying anything else might be too much for his pea brain to handle. "Why would you like me?"

I nearly fall over, because I don't like thinking about what it is I like about him. "Well, you're uh cute, and fun, and well most of the time you're not that bad… and well, it's complicated!" I shout the last part out, eyes closed, really, really not wanting to make eye contact with him.

I hear him chuckle nervously, scratching his chin, looking off somewhere. "Fujisaki-kun, this wouldn't have anything to do with that kiss, would it?" I nod, which only causes him to get more nervous. "You do know that was a joke, right? I mean, I thought it was clear that it was a joke myself."

I straighten up at this, and look him squarely in the eye. "You jerk, you kissed me, did a slutty dance with me and well, there were a lot of other things." I know I must be beet red by now, but I don't care. Certain things needed to be said, and if not now, then never.

"Fujisaki, I was just playing. Jeez, I figured you were mature enough to know the difference." I will kill him. I swear, I'm going to kill him. Of course, idiot boy can't tell how angry I am, so he decides to twist the knife further. "I mean, you're what, eighteen, nineteen now?"

It's really hard for me to decide what offended me more: the fact that he can't remember my age, or the fact that he has once again called me a child. Well, I guess in the long run it doesn't matter, because either way, I'm pissed off beyond mortal comprehension.

I reach behind him and open the door, I then proceed to push him out. "Calm down, Fujisaki! Can't we be reasonable about this?" He is struggling against me and while he'd normally win based on sheer strength, my fury has given me incredible power. Well in comparison to the person I want to remove from my lovely abode at the moment.

"Be reasonable you say? Ha! You should have thought about that before you toyed around with my feelings!" With one final push I have him shoved out the door. I hurry to slam it shut and lock him out, when he somehow wedges his body into the door frame.

"Fujisaki, I'm sorry! I really wasn't thinking! Please, let me explain!" He sounds desperate, like he sincerely means it, but I refuse to give in and listen. Not after what he has put me through.

"Well, maybe next time you'll think before you seduce someone!" I shout as I finally slam the door shut. I quickly slide the dead bolt into place, along with several other locking mechanisms. I can hear him pounding on the door, shouting out my name. I wait, thinking for sure that he will go away. Thirty minutes go by, then an hour. Just as I was about to break down and open the door, just to scream back at him, mind you, the noise stops.

I sigh in relief and decide to turn in early, so that I have plenty of time to cry myself to sleep. I can already feel the lovely water works starting. I enter my bedroom and go to my dresser yet again, this time with the intention of selecting some pajamas, when I see a dark, sinister shadow in my window.

I slowly creep over to window and cautiously draw the curtains aside. There was Shuichi, his face, chest and the palms of his hands pressed up against the window. Apparently, the idiot had climbed the fire escape. "Let me in." Came his muffled voice as he pressed up against the window. "Do it now or else I'll break the window!" He demanded, pounding his fists against the glass.

Sighing I opened the window, deciding that it was better to tolerate him, than to let him accidentally cut himself and die of blood loss. I stepped out of the way as he fell face forward into my apartment. He lay there a few minutes, groaning as if the fall had hurt him. Which was fortunate as it gave me enough time to quickly and discreetly wipe away the tears that had been threatening to form.

Normally I'd turn away in disgust, except, one of his hands has chosen this moment to wrap it's self around my ankle. "Fujisaki, please hear me out." He gives me his patented puppy dog look and against my better judgment, I find myself giving in to him.

"Fine, just let go of my ankle." He does so and slithers towards my bed, quite quickly I may add. Actually, he's already sitting on the edge and pats the spot next to him, obviously wanting me to sit there. I choose the corner farthest away from him instead. I think this has probably hurt his feelings, but I can't be sure as I am refusing to look at him for the moment.

"Fujisaki, I'm really sorry if I had been giving you the wrong impression. It's just that I really thought you didn't like me."

My annoyance is growing, even as he speaks, though it's not all the directed towards him. "I don't see how you could have no clue considering that I actually kissed you back the first time you kissed me. And just for the record, I didn't think you actually liked me back. I got this disgusting crush all on my own."

He chuckled, sounding a little sad. "That's right, you normally don't like guys, do you?"

I sigh, aggravated at the obvious lack of understanding between us. "Listen, this has nothing to do with the whole gay thing. You could be a girl and I'd still be disgusted." There's silence for a moment and I think I might have hurt his feelings.

Then he opens his mouth and dispels that theory. "Oh, you're asexual?" I turn around slowly and glare at him. I then grab him by his shirt collar and start to shake him violently.

"NO! You idiot! It's because I hate you! I abhor you, despise you, am repulsed by you and generally can't stand you!" I keep shaking him like this for a while, coming up with all sorts of ways to describe how much he irritates me, until I'm too tired to continue. And based on how dizzy he looks, it seems I stopped just in time. I let go of him and he drops back onto the mattress and lays there for a while.

Finally, after he seems to have regained some of his bearings, what little he had, Shuichi leans up on one of his elbows and pouts at me. "You could have said it nicer."

"I'm tired of being nice. Everything has to be spelled out for you. It's like you have no brain. And when you do show signs of intelligence, it's always creepy and weird."

"Why would it be creepy and weird for me to act smart? I'm not that big a flake, am I?" He shakes his head suddenly. "Never mind, don't answer that." Once again there was silence as we both seemed to realize how complicated things were. "So, if you hate me so much, why do you have a crush on me, or what ever this is?"

"How the hell should I know? There's no logical explanation as to why I should be feeling this way towards you of all people. I'm supposed to be smarter than all those other people who like you…" I muttered bitterly.

"Well, did it ever occur to you that maybe I'm not that bad?" There was a cold edge to his voice that surprised me. "I know I'm stupid, loud and annoying, I really do. And I can be selfish, stubborn and naïve. But I do try to be nice and decent to others most of the time. Even you."

There's hurt and anger in his eyes and I find myself stunned. "Like you're any great prize either! All you ever do is act like some bitchy little upper class snob! You may be Seguchi-san's cousin, but at least he pretends to be nice! You don't even try to hide how little you really think of everyone!"

He's shouting now and I want to say something, anything, to shut him up. I want to say that it's not true, or that rather, I have changed, but I can't. Getting told by someone you're in love with that you're too stuck up for your own good hurts a little too much. Suddenly, I realize things are quiet again and he's standing, his back to me, fists clenched.

I reach out to him carefully. "Shindou-san, I-" But, just as my hand barely grazes his, it's slapped away.

"Oh shut the fuck up! I don't really care anymore! I don't know why I even came here! I didn't even really care about the whole Maiko thing!" He's still shouting, but now, he's being confusing instead of hurtful. "I just felt so out of the whole godamned loop… We've been working together for a long time now and I don't even know anything about you… I just wanted to know more about you… heh, I'm so stupid." He laughed bitterly, shaking a little. He sounds like he's crying and I want to reach out and… Well, I don't know what happens after that, alright? The movies make it look much easier than it really is.

"I didn't need to know how stupid I was… How useless I was. I know how badly I failed Yuki, the last thing I need is for you of all people to remind me of that…" Next thing I know, he's running out the door, causing the whole apartment to shake with his footfalls. Then there is the thunderous slam of a door and I can only assume that he is gone.

I sit there, even more stunned than ever before. My first thought is that it's just like him to cause so much drama with a single visit. My second thought is that maybe he's still hurting over Yuki-sensei. But, the third and most prominent thought is this: you suck at love confessions, Suguru Fujisaki.

* * *

To Be Continued…. 

Man, what was that little outburst of Shu's about? How will this affect Suguru's already hectic life?

Yeah, Shuichi did spaz. But, that's honestly the way he is. Plus, even though I've been focusing on Suggy, Shuichi is actually going through quite a bit emotionally right now. Hell, I doubt he even understands what his little out burst was about.


	9. Impossibility

Chapter Title: Impossibility

* * *

Well, it's been two days since I confessed my love in the most insensitive way imaginable and I still haven't been dropped from the band. I would be relieved, except I haven't heard from him in three days. No one has. Nakano-san isn't worried, saying that we don't have to worry until Shuichi's been gone for four days with no word. K-san and Sakano-san are understandably less calm about it and have unleashed a massive manhunt for him. 

I'd ask my cousin if he has any clue, but I'm not sure if I want to risk getting him angry at Shindou-san. Plus, then Tohma would ask why I of all people am concerned enough to ask him for help and one thing would lead to another, and yeah, I'm not going to ask him.

It's quiet in the studio without him. Normally it's not a bad thing, except by now he should have burst in and made a whole bunch of noise, livening the place up with his special, frantic brand of energy. I should be calling him lazy and stupid, he should be complaining about how my arrangements have ruined his artistic vision and well, so on. In retrospect, it was a nice routine we had going and it's a real shame I decided to ruin it.

"Argh!" I yell, slamming my fingers down on to the keys, creating an incredibly harsh sound. And I find myself staring in shock at what I just did. I can't believe I just pounded on one of my precious, beloved keyboards. I never, ever slam my fingers down on the keyboard. It's stupid, immature and childish. "What's he doing to me? What did I do to him?"

* * *

I eventually gave up on working when I realized that not only was no one going to be coming, but that I was becoming more and more dangerous to my keyboard by the second. I've been walking around aimlessly for hours, enjoying the smell of my own angst. Okay, not enjoying it. Is it even possible to enjoy misery? 

Probably not I decide. More like able to tolerate it more. And the day certainly is a lovely enough one. Sunny, warm breeze, not sweaty out. People clearly enjoying themselves without being terribly noisy. Shindou-san would probably be in a good mood himself. I can imagine him on Eiri Yuki-sensei's arm, dancing around, pointing at different things.

Yeah, that's right, Eiri Yuki, not me. I realize that I really can't see myself with him. Not in the least. We don't fit together at all. He's short, I'm just a littler shorter. He's plain, yet cute. I'm even plainer and more childlike in appearance. I couldn't understand him if I even tried, let alone provide some sort of balance. How could I even think that anything could come out of me liking him?

Shaking my head, I decide not to think about things that will make me more depressed. Unfortunately, that becomes a lost cause when I come across a near by book store. A magazine rack is on display, featuring Eiri Yuki on the cover. Instead of doing the smart thing and just walking by without another glance, I pick up a copy and begin to analyze it. Or rather, analyze him, my unbeatable rival of sorts.

The truth is Eiri Yuki is in a sense my ideal. And by ideal, I don't mean lover nor do I mean role model. What I mean is that I wish I could have been born as someone like him. Someone handsome, strong, cool and dangerous. Everything female seems to be in love with him and it's a proven fact that at least some percentage of the male population gets a hard on just looking at him. He takes no shit from anyone and says what is on his mind. And everyone loves him for it.

I turn the magazine upside down, then sideways, looking it over, absorbing every feature, so that I can remember just why I'm not good enough for Shindou. It's not because Shindou is better than me; it's because he seeks someone so much better than everyone else on the planet. The boy has set his sights way too high and is now unable to adjust his vision back to normal. Or rather, the unbearable crick in his neck prevents him from looking downwards.

Then again, I doubt Eiri ever hit as far below the belt as I did last night, so I'm sure that also helps his case. I finally shove the magazine back into place and continue on my way, still trying to puzzle out the mystery of everything that just happened. Okay, that sounded like bad poetry. Then again, Shindou Shuichi _is_ bad poetry.

"And now, he has me thinking in bad metaphors." Realizing I said this out loud, I groan. "And _talking_ in bad metaphors." I should look for him, so that I can make things right. Not that I know where he would be. I could always ask someone who knows him where they think he would be expect for the fact that they would have already looked. Except, then they'd have to ask why I was interested in looking. I'm not ready to let anyone else know how I feel. Not yet.

Hmmmmmm…. If I were Shindou Shuichi, where would I go?

* * *

Okay, I give up. There's no way I could ever even pretend to understand his mental processes. I'm going home. I begin to secretly curse to myself as I pass a dark alleyway and I'm so busy doing so that I don't see the strange figure in the alley way until it grabs me. I scream and curse, putting up a mighty fight… Or I would if his grip wasn't so tight. 

As I'm drug further back into the alley, I have the thought that he's really short for a kidnapper, not much taller than me in fact. And he smells like… pocky? "Shindou!" I shriek as I rip his hands off me and turn around. And sure enough, there he is, looking flustered. "What the hell are you doing? Where have you been?"

"Calm down Fujisaki, I really can't handle any yelling right now." He sounds tired and looks hung over.

Taking his advice, I take a few breaths. "Do you realize that everybody's been looking for you?" I say quietly, through clenched teeth. "Where the hell have you been?"

He shrugged, as if I was making a big deal out of nothing. "A few hotels and that. Nothing important. Why, did you miss me?" He says the last line sarcastically, a mean spirited smile on his face.

"This isn't about me." Well okay, it is, but he doesn't need to know that either. "It's about you and this irresponsible vanishing act you pulled."

"Liar, you were worried." He grins and pats my cheek good naturedly. "Maybe now you'll think twice before calling me an idiot? Not that I did this to get back at you or anything. I just needed a break, that's all." He looks away from me, still maintaining that air of superiority.

"That's perfectly normal for you though." I mean that too. He always finds the strangest moments to run away from it all. In fact, I'm actually a little jealous. I sure as hell wish I was irresponsible to run away from all my problems. Now even more annoyed, I grab him by the shoulder and begin to drag him.

"Ouch! Fujisaki, what are you doing?" He doesn't struggle; he just wriggles and complains a lot.

"I'm taking you back to your apartment. Then I'm calling the others and letting them know you're home. And then," I take a breath, praying for strength, "We're having a little heart to heart." He stares at me then smirks.

"Heh, heart to heart? I bet." I resist the urge to ring his neck and continue dragging him. "I never would have figured that you'd be such a cave man, Fujisaki." He says it with a low purr in his voice that causes me to shudder.

"Shut up!" I begin to drag him a little more roughly, causing him to cry out in protest. Ignoring him, I'm now intent on dragging him back home, even though I really, really don't want to. Even though I know it'll be awkward, annoying and humiliating, we need to have this conversation.

"Ooooh… You're trying to be all tough and manly. I like it." He smirks as he says it and I groan inwardly. Oh god, please don't make me kill him.

* * *

To Be Continued… 


	10. Overly Intimate Situation

Chapter Title: Overly Intimate Situation

Chapter 10

The moment I got Shuichi to his apartment and convinced him to unlock the door, I set about getting him a glass of water and some aspirin. I went back into the living room, dreading the conversation that was about to come up and apparently, if I was to judge by the way he was hanging his head as he sat on the couch, so was he. Either that or the hangover he had was really starting to hurt. I handed him the medicine and glass of water, which he gulped down greedily. He then slumped down on the couch while I sat down on a chair across from him.

We were silent for a while, like two children who had just got done play rambunctiously for hours. It was Shuichi who broke the silence, shifting slightly, but not getting up. "It had nothing to do with you, you know? When I saw him with that guy though, I realized that I hadn't moved on like I should have. I didn't want to be stuck in a rut anymore and well, you…"

"I was conveniently there. That was what it was, right?" Strangely enough, I'm able to avoid crying, feeling very calm and collected.

"Yes and no. It's not like I would have kissed anyone." I scoff and he rises up on his elbow, annoyed now. "Well, it's true! I wouldn't have kissed Sakano-san, K-san or Hiro. Or Seguchi-san either."

Maybe it's stupid, but I begin to hope for a moment. Not that I can let him know that. "Come off it. There's still a million other people who you could have done all that stuff to. Millions of groupies, employees, people in other bands." It's true too. He's still as popular as ever, if not more so. His look has matured quite a bit. He still looks too young, but there is an aura of strength there, one that he always had, but that he was never willing to put out in the open before.

"Well, I don't like doing that sort of thing with random people. It has to be someone I like… And that I think is… attractive." He looked embarrassed as he said the last part and feel myself turning crimson.

"But you said it was a joke." I am so NOT letting myself get suckered in again, even if what he's saying can be taken in so many different ways.

"I don't know if it was anymore. I thought I was joking, but… Argh!" He turned around so that he was facing the back of the couch and muffled his face with a pillow.

I really, really want to know what he was going to say, but decide not to do anything as ridiculous as ask him, tempting as that might be. Because, as transparent as he is, Shindou will not give me a straight answer at this point. He's the type that's very emotional and sympathetic, but he suffers from a severe lack of empathy at times. Especially when it comes to himself. The only way for him to understand his own feelings is to go through this process of denial, frustration and anger. And god help me, because I'm along for the ride.

* * *

"Yes K-san. No K-san." Since Shindou didn't want to be direct with me, I had gone ahead and called K to let him know that our vocalist had been found. I had then been forced to use all my wits to keep him from coming here and barging in. Not an easy task by any means, but I was managing admirably. Though that might have been because I had agreed to work at least ten hours of over time this week. "Yes, I'll tell him that. Bye K-san." 

I turn around to glare at him. He's still on the couch, facing away from me and has been immobile like that for quite some time. "You should be glad he's not coming over here with guns and a helicopter right now. I had to give up some of my free time to appease him." Shuichi did what might have been a shrug and an uh-huh, but it was hard to tell.

"How about I go make you something to eat?" Once again he does that mystery gesture. I take decide to take it as a yes and head into the kitchen. I dig out a pack of instant Raman and start the water boiling. Just as I dump the noodles in, I feel a pair of arms wrap around my shoulders, someone leaning against my back. I look back to see a sulky Shuichi's head resting on my shoulder.

"So if you hate liking me so much, why are you in my house making me food after I acted like such a bastard to you?"

I roll my eyes at him. "Because I know it's just the overly emotional idiot talking. You're so overly emotional that you should be declared legally incompetent."

"You're a mean one Fujisaki." He sighed, leaning against my back even more heavily.

"No, I'm just high strung and stuck around people who are psychotic. You should see me on my own. I'm a lot nicer. A real gentlemen. Or so my parents say." Realizing that I've left the noodles in too long, I reach over and shut off the burner, removing the pan from the heat.

"A real momma's boy." He giggles at the look I give him, hugging me even tighter. "Since you're so high strung, how about I help you relieve some of that tension later." He smirked, in that creepy way that he'd been smirking lately. "After supper of course."

Before I could say anything he had started setting the table, humming to himself. It's simply amazing how he changes from one emotional extreme to the other, all without suffering severe whiplash. Though, truth be told, I'm not really relieved. I can't be because now I'm dreading whatever it is he has planned later on.

* * *

Of course, even now that it's later, I'm still not sure what's going on. He herded me into his bedroom and told me to remove my shirt and lay face down on the bed, a towel lying underneath me. He then dimmed the light and turned on some ambient music and pulled some bottles out of the dresser drawer. He climbed onto the bed, causing the springs to creak and straddled me so that he was sitting on my ass. 

"Uh, Shindou-kun, what are you doing?" He says nothing though, opening one of the bottles and dripping the substance onto his hands. The air suddenly becomes very fragrant. It smells like… lavender? Before I can say anything though, he suddenly puts the hands onto my back and starts rubbing them in deep circles. "Shindou-kun?"

"I'm giving you a massage. You said you're high strung… And man… what is this? It's like your back is made of knots." I am about to protest, except I have to instantly shut my mouth, because I am about to purr.

The moment the episode passes, I try to make small talk, which isn't easy, because his fingers truly are magic. "How did you get so good at this?" I am immediately embarrassed as I realize that I'm whimpering.

"I dunno, just am. I used to try it out on Eiri all the time, but he usually didn't like it unless he was really, really tired. He didn't like anyone touching him that way, even me." It's silent once again and I regret bringing up such a painful subject. "But, you know…" He starts talking again, without warning, "I guess maybe it really was that he just couldn't stand _me_ touching him."

I hear him sigh and he stops, removing those blessed fingers and climbing off of me so that he is sitting on the edge of the bed. I'm about ready to pitch a fit and demand that he continue what he was doing, except it hits me that such an act would not be tactful. And considering how badly I have been screwing up lately, I could stand to exersize a little more tact.

Once I realize though that the massage is indeed over, I sit up, and grabbing the towel I was lying on, begin to rub off my back with it. It may have been brief, but it really did make a world of difference. I feel like a brand new man. "So, are you really still in love with him?" I don't look him directly in the eyes, because it would give too much away. I do not want to look like a jealous brat.

"Always will be. But, that doesn't mean I can't move on. I have to tell myself that I can live without him. I want to hold onto the strength I gained from him and never let go."

I stare at him for a moment, then shrug. I was about to say something, except for the fact that I felt a sudden draft and realized that I was shirtless in front of him. Embarrassedly, I pull my shirt back on. The moment I am fully dressed, I look him squarely in the eye. "Okay, how about this then: do you like me? In a well, romantic or boyfriend sort of way?" There, I said it. And in the most embarrassing way imaginable.

"Uh… Well…"

* * *

To Be Continued… 

Yes, it's another evil cliffy.

And just so you guys know, I have absolutely no fricken idea where the hell this thing is going.


	11. Two Week Trial

Pairing: Shuichi/Suguru Warnings: Non-cannon pairing, references to sex.

* * *

Shuichi seemed to be swallowing, as if something was caught in his throat. "That is uhm… It's really, well can I get back to you?" 

Crossing my arms, I shake my head. "No, you can't."

"Well then how about maybe?"

"Maybe? What does that even mean, you maybe have feelings for me! Either you do or you don't!"

"Waaaaaaaaaaah! This is so hard! It makes my head hurt!" That's not all that's going to hurt if he doesn't give me some sort of answer soon. "Well, it's like this…" Shuichi suddenly leans in really close to me, his hot, sweet breath wafting over my face. Before I can back away, he clasps me by the shoulders. Then he's kissing me, softly and slowly, tasting even sweeter than he smelled.

When he's pulled away, I feel like screaming and I do. "That's your answer?"

"You know I don't work well under pressure." Liar. That's when you work best.

"If you think you're going to impress me with some strange, odd romantic gesture, then you are dead wrong!" But, truth is, I am definitely convinced and I don't know why I should be. Really, you'd think I'd know better.

"I'm not trying to impress you. It's the truth. Well, near as I can explain it." He's really frustrating me…

"Well, then I guess you'll just die alone." I get off the bed, deciding that I better leave before I lose my temper.

"Don't be so mean! Besides, 'I love you' isn't that big a deal anyways." Shut up I want to scream at him. "That doesn't mean I don't have feelings, they're just messy feelings."

"Everything you do is messy, Shindou-san."

"Guess I just need someone to pick up after me." He's beaming at me again, big broad smile on his face, making the mood in the room seem lighter.

"No. I'm not. I'm going to teach you how to pick up after yourself."

"Wow, you can do that?"

"I ought to be better about it than you are."

"That a promise?"

"Do you promise to stop being manipulative and vague?"

"I'm not like that! I'm a tortured poetic soul!"

"Poetic? Sure. Your lyrics stink. Your singing is the only thing that makes up for it." As soon as I said that, something strange happened. Shuichi began to blush, his eyes started watering and he had this indescribable look on his face. "Shindou-kun?"

"You sound just like Yuki, except more romantic." And before I can tell him how much I dislike the comparison, he tackles me to the floor in what I can only assume is a hug.

"Shindou-san…" But, it quickly becomes obvious that it's foolish to continue the conversation. For one thing, I can barely breath. And Shindou's absolutely determined not to let go.

* * *

Two Weeks later, NG Studios 

"I thought you two hated each other and now you're dating." Hiro says this as if it's not that surprising. Of course, I suppose it really isn't that surprising for him, as he's been through more shit with Shuichi than anyone else.

"It's an experiment, one we could end any minute. He said we'd fess up when we made it to the two week mark." We had decided that day two weeks ago that we might as well just date, if only to make things a little less confusing. Maybe the idiot would figure out his true feelings eventually. Hah, not likely.

"So, that means you two have tolerated each other for two weeks now. Must be love." He's smirking now and I want to say something to wipe that smirk off his face, something about how he's still so pathetic around his girlfriend, but decide not to. I'm so much better than that after all.

"This experimenting includes what then?"

"We date and hang out mainly. And well, other stuff." Other stuff including kissing, hugging and feeling up, but not including sex.

"You're not going to turn into another Yuki Eiri are you?"

"Why would I?"

"He might drive you to it."

"Well since he likes that type of so much, maybe it wouldn't be so bad."

"Suguru, he dumped Yuki. So I don't think it'd be a good thing."

"You are a real downer"

* * *

"Fujisaki, which one? The little pink one or the blue one?" Shuichi held out the two throw pillows, waiting for his expert opinion. The singer had decided to redecorate his apartment and apparently, helping him decide was on the list of my responsibilities as boyfriend. I had spent the whole day in Shuichi's apartment, looking at various samples and I have had about all I can take of it. 

"The blue one Shuichi. The pink one is too girly." I did not want to spend my day doing this.

"But, my hair's pink!"

He's left himself wide open, but I decide it is safer to not follow my baser instincts and hit him where is hurts. "Yeah, which is why I don't think you need anymore pink."

"You really don't want to help me, do you? You're supposed to be interested in whatever I say. That's what boyfriends do. I listen to whatever you talk about. With rapt attention."

Where did he learn the word 'rapt?' Is he abusing his thesaurus again? "Well boyfriends are interested in things other than picking out fabric samples." Now he's looking at me funny and I am afraid that I've upset him. He leans in closer to me, looking closely. "Uh, not that I don't want to spend time with you, it's just that…"

He kisses me before I can say anything and when he pulls back, he has this look in his eyes. He gently raises a hand to my cheek and starts stroking it. "I forgot, you've never been laid before, have you? We should really fix that."

Okay, I was not thinking about sex. Well, okay I do wonder why we haven't done it yet, but that's not important. "That's not what I was thinking about! In fact that's the furthest thing from my mind." Which is the biggest lie ever, because now that's all that's going to be on my mind for the next two weeks.

"What you don't' want to do it with me? The thought of doing it is that repulsive to you?" He looks a little angry and so I do what I think will surely stop him.

"No! It's just it's so sudden and it should be special."

"Fujisaki?" He has a big, creepy smile on his face. "Do you know when I last had sex?" I shake my head dumbly. I hadn't really thought about him getting laid to tell the truth. "Not since I got dumped."

"I'm sorry." Did that sound as lame as I think it does?

"And you've never gotten laid, so you have to be getting pretty frustrated too, right?" He's giving me this lustful look and is rubbing against me.

All I can really do is stare at him blankly. Shuichi is strange when he's trying to be sexual. There are moments where it just fails and he comes of as annoying, weird little dork. Then there are times when it works and those are the times when I spend the night feeling all hot and bothered. And if I don't do something, it's shaping up to be one of those nights.

"Do you love me?" I might as well get something out of this other than possibly bad and embarrassing sex.

He's starring at me blankly, his cheeks getting red. "Well yeah, otherwise I wouldn't want to have sex with you." It's odd seeing him embarrassed for some reason, perhaps because I've been the one feeling awkward lately. "So will you let me do you?"

"Uh huh, I'll let you." I don't' remember much after that, except that I wish that I could have said something more meaningful, since it was my first time. Of course, it also would have been nice if I didn't end up crying like a baby afterwards, for no reason. Especially because Shuichi kept giggling about how cute I was and how happy he was that he got to be seme for a change. I still can't decide if he was the lame one or if I was.

* * *

Yeah, that's the end folks. I know, it sucks. Well, what can I say? It seemed like as good a place to end it as any. 


End file.
